Aveda prayer tonight...

see if you can translate... I tried as best I could through the binkie she was holding between her teeth...
um, Jeeezuuus, tank You fo taygin (Tagen) an' fo me babies an' dolliees an' my feeeeet an' my tooowzzz (as she's grabbing her toes) an' um Jeeeezuuus, tank You fo Jonah (typing does not do justice to how cute she says her lil' friend Jonah's name) an' Wyan (Ryan) an' Tofa (Topher) an' um tank You fo' mama an' fo mama an' fo me tooowzzz an' me babies an' binkie an bwankie an' taygin an' ... (sometimes she'll pause and I really think she's done but really she's just thinking earnestly about what else to pray about - pretty dang cute) an' my books, i wuv my books. And Jeeezuuus, tanks fo' dada an' mustawd (Mustard) my bed an'
Tagen interrupts and says "and aAAAAmen!"
Aveda retorts back: "NO! my still pwayin'! You go get in yo bed taygin. my still pwayin'!"
thankfully Tagen doesn't take this too personally and continues listening to her.
... and Jeeezzuuus tank You fo my toes.

Tagen comments...

Deep in thought while sitting in his carseat contemplating is hands... mom asks, "whatchya thinking about Tagen?" and he replies, "oh, I'd just really like to have some more fingers... one here, and one here" (pointing to other parts on his hand).

Having a rough time going to bed tonight and mom asks from a different room, "what do you need Tagen?" no reply... "what do you need Tagen?" finally he replies, "a time-out?"

wanting a bite of daddy's burger, "can I have a bite of your Burger King daddy?" i swear this child eats at Burger King only once every number of months. Obviously it has made a BIG impression.

when lying in his bed at night and he wants to come out of his room but knows that we always tell him aveda will follow... he turns to her in her little bed next to his and says, "Beyda, no come out. say otay, otay?! say otay!" aveda... "otay" really funny and cute to overhear their conversations...

Dear You...

I came across this prayer recently on a blog of another mom I read when I can. It just resounded with my heart in more ways than one. Don't we all come to this place at some or many points?... it is a good thing that God is not content leaving us where we're at and a painful thing at times. Like just when we get comfortable it seems like He does something to up and draw us nearer to Himself - sometimes thru joy... at other times pain... anyways, I love the way she writes...

Dear You,

The Youest of Yous. The Dancing One, the Singing in my blood, the One who moves and breathes and loves me always.

So here we are again, we’ve been here before. I have a theory that You bring me here on purpose. Is it true?

Because this circle comes around again and again, and now I am at the start, where I’m kicking like a baby, resisting change with all of my might.

We box. You block all of my punches and never hit back.

I run to You, then pull away because I am more than a little upset. Why are You always bringing me to my limits? It doesn’t feel fair.

Every day lately I wake up with what feels like a fat furry cat sitting on my chest. It’s heavy and I can’t breathe and there’s that stupid cat dander that makes my eyes itch. I struggle to get out of bed because this cat feels like fear. Where is the fear from? Why is it heavy on me? Whose cat is this, anyways?

I remember the pattern from the past. You remind me, most excellent of friends, when I take the time to listen. You say, “We’ll get through this.” You say, “We’ll be a little closer, my love.” You say, “You’ll drop a few more of those ideas of yours, the ones about your self-sufficiency, your big plans for yourself, your need to be perfect, to keep it all together, to fix everything by your own small self.” You say, “Lean into it, don’t push away.” You say, “There are greener things than you can imagine, sweeter smelling days than you’ve ever known. Just wait. Just wait.”

But I feel alone and the fear is ever-present and I’m not sure why I have to do this again. Remind me?

I know there is a changing. There is the kicking and the pushing and then slowly my resistance fades, I go limp, I fall in, and then I learn contentment again. It has been this way so many times before. All the places I have been, the homes I have lived in, all the deserts, all the valleys. Even on the peaks. It is the newness I resist, the loss of what has been. It is the small etchings I have carved into the wood in places all around me, reminding me of who I am, of what my name is. Leaving these things brings a tearing that I don’t think I could have imagined.

Now I have only You to remind me. You and the faces of my family. It is enough.

And after the tearing comes a divine healing and Your hands surround me and I have obeyed and You have promised. And there are new things, there are sweet things and the ocean will fold over me and not throw me, it will rock me like a child. It is better than before, it is larger and more spacious than clinging to the old ways. You lead me into ever opening rooms.

It is good that we will have a long time together, my Friend. One day I will look back on all of this and say, “You told me so.” So just, please, help me now, when I am still blind and foolish and inwardly about two years old.

All my love. You know You have my heart.

lil' miss Aveda Violet turned TWO today...

lil' miss,
you woke up today no longer a little one year old. how is it possible that just a year ago you were still such a little baby and now it seems you're on the verge of pre-teen?... ok maybe not quite that far yet but I just cannot believe you have lived two years already! i remember so clearly sitting in the hospital just after you were born. It was such a hot hot day in santa barbara and we were so stoked to be in the air conditioned room of Goleta Valley. You were born with a full head of thick black hair and big brown eyes. In an instant you made your older brother go from our little baby boy to looking huge and old. How tiny you were next to him... I'm not sure how he felt about you entering our family and taking the place of the "baby" of the fam but I know that he adores you now. Although there's some fighting (which i think you instigate most of the time) he always wants you around. I've even asked him if wants to go places just him and daddy or just him and mommy and he always replies, "well, beyda's gotta come too awright?!"
We love you lil' miss...
As you are now a two-year-old we've really seen your personality unfold over this past year. You are somethin' of a phenomena...
so fiesty yet so loving... tough and yet such a girlie girl... still need help with things but so sure of yourself and want to do things your way, say things your way and correct others when they're not 'your way' ... you're so into your books and will go off and read em for an hour babbling to yourself ... you've gotten into this strange habit of lining things up in some funky order (like all the stuff from your dollhouse, or your stuffed animals or really whatever else you come across) ... you're an independent little one but
I love that you are still my lil' cuddle bug. I love your hugs and the way you grab the sides of my cheeks with your chubby little hands and kiss me smack on the lips so hard that it probably shouldn't even be called a kiss. But you do it with such sincerity that all I can do is laugh. I love how you wrap your short little arms around my neck to hug me so tight I can let go and you hang on me like a baby monkey. Whenever I lie down on the couch or the ground you run over to cuddle. I hope you'll always do this my little lovebug. We love you so much and just thank Jesus for the spunk and charisma you bring to our family!

good times in the maligro yard...

the Are you kidding me Day

thought you might appreciate the insanity of our day on um, Thursday i think it was. well Aveda has had this eye goop goin' for like well over a month so i finally took her to the eye doc. thursday and he took a sample of the guck -mmm and thought maybe it's staph or some bacterial infection. anyways, he prescribed this ointment where i'm supposed to pull down her lower eye lid and squirt a 1/2 inch strip (it's the consistency of vaseline) into each eye 3 TIMES A DAY! thinking to myself: she's 22 months old - are you kidding me?! he suggests doing it while she's sleeping so she wouldn't fight me. is this worth waking a sleeping baby over? no. i'm ready to do battle with this child.
anyways, it took an hour and 1/2 too long in there but finally we got out and had to go to Wal-Mart to get the prescription filled. I called kyle to give him a heads up because he had Tagen at home. When i dropped the prescription off they told me it would take an HOUR! oh Lord - it was like 5pm by now so i knew Aveda was getting hungry. Not fun when you're stuck in a store for a long long time and couldn't do anything to hurry it up. Then i got a phone call from my hubby and this is how it went (side note: I'd been giving Tagen these homeopathic tablets by Hylands called "Sniffles n Sneezes 4 kids" cause he's had a little runny nose and it's supposed to kick it early. the serving size for him is 2 tablets)
kyle: "um, how many tablets were left in that bottle?"
me: "mmm, it was at least 1/2 full, maybe 40 or 50?"
kyle: "okay, well, um he ate them all."
me: "WHAT?! are you kidding me?! thinking to myself ' where the hell were YOU while he downed this bottle of pills?!' managed to refrain that one and told him to hang up and call Poison Control right away.
kyle: "are you serious?"
me: thinking "are you kidding? - there's that phrase... again... the kid just ate more than 20 times the amount he should have" i had to just hang up.
So he calls me back a few minutes later and the guy at poison control said he should be alright. He'll probably have a tummy ache but he's not gonna die. I'm still doubting that fact and praying the dumbest most repetitive prayers. Finally a painful hour at wal-mart goes by and we go back to pick up the prescription. The lady at pick-up tells me "oh, looks like there's a problem. Go see that lady over there."
oh you gotta be kidding me... again...
"That Lady Over There" says to me: "oh sorry, we couldn't read the prescription and the doctor has left his office so you'll have to wait til tomorrow morning to get it filled." (mind you we live a good 20 min. from this Wal-mart.)
I take the prescription out of her hand, look at it and can read and tell her exactly what it says.
She looks at it again... pause... hmm, well yeah that's maybe what it could say but I can't take your word for it, only the doctor's.
She goes to file it for the next morning but i get that thing back to get it filled somewhere else. Don't ya love days like this?!

Mama's day...

Dang i've got a wonderful family! Getting to sleep in with Kid A and greeted by hubby who carried coffee and a scone from the shop down the road - a good good way to start the day. We got to spend much of the day at Mahalapu - a beach off the beaten path somewhat... we danced in the rain, drew in the sand, surfed on the waves and wiped poop with my bare hands off little miss' bottom. mm, that last one wasn't so fun and let me tell you, scrubbing with sand and washing in saltwater does NOT take the stink off. Aside from that we had a blast at the beach and the kids took super good naps after we got home. That to me was the bestest gift they could've thought of to give me! Good time with family is priceless.

been a while...

so it's been a while since the last post... thought some pictures would be better than lots of words. Since Tagen's birthday we've been on a trip to the Big Island to see Kyle's dad - the kids call him Papa and his wife Momo... we've been on an easter egg hunt... we've been to the beach plenty times... watching the little monkeys grow and develop in amazing ways. These kids are tight - they love each other so much & it's a blessing to witness...

Tagen Train Turned Tree Today!

Our little beloved Train...
Today you turned THREE years old! It really is hard to believe how quickly time can fly when moment by moment it can seem to go so slow sometimes. I measured you on our growth chart today and you are now taller than a peacock! You grow quickly little man! And you are cuter than ever in the things you think of to say. Just a few days ago you were sitting on the couch with your auntie looking at all the freckles on her arm. You laid your head in her lap and were looking up at the ceiling obviously deep in thought. The ceiling in our living room is wood with lots of knots and different shades of browns and you said, "look at all the freckles on our ceiling!"... You have also been interested in what Jesus has made. "Did Jesus make da clouds?" you ask. "Did Jesus make Beyda? me? you?! Mustard?" ... the more you've learned to talk the more and more questions you ask. I think it was just in the past few months you learned the question "why?" You used to say "where?" which never made any sense why you asked where so i usually wouldn't answer but that would obviously frustrate you because I think the whole time you meant to say "why?" oh man. So once you got that straightened out, that's taken our conversations to an entirely new level to where sometimes I just have to say "because" and thankfully, for now, you are satisfied with that answer and sweetly reply, "oh."

I was recently reading an article about the importance of raising a boy to be tough - I'm not talking about one who fights and never cries and never admits weakness because many men like that are called tough but inside are often weak and insecure. Rather the kind of boy who becomes a man who is tough in his inner being making his spirit resilient in the face of adversity. One who is so strengthened in his spirit that he will not allow obstacles to stop him or the pounding of public opinion to deter him. When everyone misunderstands, he does not succumb to self-doubt.
My son, whatever path you choose in life will be littered with signs that say, "closed to you; you can't do it; this is for people more talented or advantaged; you can't make a difference." And if you believe the signs and stop to ponder, you will hear voices saying, "You are not important; no one cares; it is not worth it; quit now." The weak ones go no further. They settle down and accept the lot that is handed to them and spend the rest of their lives unhappy and unfulfilled. Not you Tagen Train. It is my deep prayer for you today my son that YOU will never believe those signs and never slow down to listen to those voices. Granted it may be that you won't win a Nobel prize or be recognized with applause at a banquet; but how I pray that you will know in your heart that at the end of your days you have run the course and overcome the hardships to conquer, even in the little areas that only matter to a quiet few. You will not be a quitter, slacker, or buck passer. At the end of your life, you will have tasted of the sweetness, heard the music, and worn the crown of victory. It is not a tough exterior that matters in the end. It is a tough spirit, an overcoming spirit, a spirit of service. My love may you be able to say, "I have lived, and it was good... very, very good." By the grace of God we will raise you to be tough and faithful the way God wants you to be so that you will be able to reap many many good fruits from these priceless characteristics.
We love you to the moon and back our little superhero!